God, Why?

This last month has been a very challenging month for me. As some of you had heard, my cousin was in a tragic accident and she died on Sept.11. No words can explain the pain that I have felt with this whole situation. There are many days that I just want to cry and not stop, and then there are the days that I do not think about it. Many people would ask, “well why aren’t you focusing on the positive things you have done with her”...it’s a lot easier said then done. During this time of pain and hurt, I have been upset, frustrated and have most defiantly asked God, “why?” Why did my cousin who was only 14 have to die? Why are her sisters left with no older sister to look up too? Why was a girl, who was genuinely such as nice, loving, person have to leave a world that she could have made a much larger impact then what she had already did? God, why? 

I know that God loves and that he is comforting our family. I know that, I believe it. But, as a human, I still have questions, frustrations and am just confused on why things like this happen. I know that God has a plan and a purpose for each one of our lives, and that God has been and will continue to work in this situation. I have seen glimpses of him working in the lives of my family members. You know how it is when you are kinda mad at a friend and you don’t really want to talk to them, but you know you should because it will make things better? That is where I am at right now with God. I do want to talk with Him, as I know he is my support. But my human nature wants to blame something, which I have to constantly remind myself not to do.  I am being completely honest with you guys as I want you to know that I am a person, I have struggles, but God is good. Even as I have struggled to pursue my relationship more with God during this difficult time, I have taken the time to do a devotion every morning. Do I feel like reading it? No, not all the time. But, every time I do, God reminds me of different promises he has given us. I would say within the past week, 3 out of the 5 times I have read something, there is a promise like “God will be your strength”, “God helps us in our struggles”, and so on.

I want you to recognize that it is okay to have struggles and that we all will have them at sometime. The thing I want you to recognize though is how you are dealing with it and are you turning to God or just choosing to blame him? I have cried, I have written my frustrations, I have talked to many people I trust, I have prayed. Whatever struggle, or hardship that you may be going through, God is our provider and he will help us in this time of our life. 

Praying for each of you, and if you have struggles or things you are going through, be sure to email/facebook/get in contact with one of us leaders. We are here for you!

Love you all!

Michelle